Giveaway Items and Shenanigans Update

Holy cow, where have I been? Mood swings, joint pain, heat waves- it's been a fun week. *rolls eyes*

On the upside, some of the giveaway items have arrived!

First items to arrive are these six paracord bracelets created by RabbitMan109, a skilled paracord weaver on Twitch. His username links to his Twitch profile. These bracelets use the "Solomon's Heart" weave, a two- color intertwined heart pattern. When you look at the bracelet one way, you see purple hearts. Hold it upside down, and you see teal hearts. These bracelets were created in purple and teal to resemble the Suicide Prevention Awareness ribbon colors as suggested here. They are made in three sizes, two of each size: 6.5 inches (16.5 cm), 7.5 inches (19 cm), and 8 inches (20 cm).

Next is a Chansey coin carved by JayHobo of Twitch. Click his unsername to see his profile and read the meaning behind his craft. This coin is carved from a US "gold" dollar coin. Chansey, in Pokemon lore, is a caretaker and nourisher, a gentle soul and a symbol of luck. Those who play the trading card game have also come across the Chansey coins for the game, though those are often made of plastic. This coin isn't recommended for play, but would be a great addition to any Pokefan's collection. The front of the coin has Sacagawea's image. In US history, she was the Native woman who guided Louis and Clarke in their expedition across the US. I felt the symbolism of these two figures resonated well with the message of love, care, and guidance through the unknown.

Also by JayHobo is this ring made from a US quarter dollar. It is sized 9.5, and is made from a Colorado quarter from one of the 50 state themed releases. it was made in such a way much of the details remain on the metal, creating an interesting texture. I highly recommend clicking the picture for a bigger view. This item was donated as an extra piece to be given out, and I'm super appreciative of the generosity shown.

There are some items still in the process of being crafted or assembled, but I will update as they arrive.

I have also been gathering supplies for better streaming and to make things more fun.

First the update on the $10 donation tier. I could not find a unicorn pillow I liked, nor a pillow cover I liked that was within my price range. So, I used my nonexistent sewing skills to create this handmade envelope pillow cover. I bought a gold marker to write names on it, but I might have to use black as the gold is hard to see at the best of times. The colors are purple and teal to go with the awareness ribbon theme.

Second update is for the $20 tier food challenge. I did buy the double salt licorice. I tasted it to gauge how punishing it would be. Sadly... I enjoyed it in all it's feline urine flavored glory. Or at least, I couldn't stop popping them. This would not do, as eating them was not a challenge. I also decided to rethink the kimchi idea, as it would require constant refrigeration to be safe. So what do? Edible bugs! For $20, I will eat two bugs from the two bags I purchased, one pictured above. I have not tasted them, as I do not want to get used to the idea, so you get 100% of my awkward squirminess.

Third item is the $40 tier canvas and paints (paints not pictured.) My cat has approved the canvas, and it's good to go. I figured, so as not to spend hours of stream time painting, I will block suggested figures in, and during slow periods, work on finer details to flesh things out. Blocking the subjects in will discourage me from spending too much time sketching and erasing, and I think keep the mural at a decent pace in the event of a donation train. I am not sure what I will do with the final piece. But I do have a lot of bare walls, and having a reminder of a big event a whole community helped with would be a great mood lifter and fun to show in the background during regular streams.

I still have yet to get off my bum for the $80 tier dance practice. Leg pain has been bad this week. So instead, I've been practicing a couple songs for serenading at donation milestones. *wink*

Now, among the items I will make on stream, I have listed "Huggy Bears". The two items above are made with a free pattern on Ravelry and can be found in German and English here. The rabbit one was an attempt at a variation. These are simple, one piece items I wish to make available in my shop for the cost of shipping, meant to give to those in need of a hug, so my affectionate nickname.

This is the rainbow of colors I picked up for the $20 Tier yarn switcharoo. There will also be black and white available. For the stream, purple and teal hearts will be added to these dolls as pictured on the bear above.

As far as streaming equipment, I purchased this headset for clearer mouth noises. The light effect is excessive, but I'm told the sound quality is good for the price and is better than the built in mic I had been using. They are also lightweight and comfortable  for long periods of time, which is going to be very, very good.

I have ordered some packing supplies, mostly boxes. I will need to wait until next month to get tape, as between ordering commission items and supplies, my funds are about dried up for the month.

I would still like a basic webcam to use aim at the mural, a USB extender, and a USB hub, to make moving around easier and accommodate the second external webcam. Visiting the Twitch Tip Page link to the right would help a ton with the remaining supplies.

September first, I plan to publish the Tiltify page and make the donation page live. It will also display donation tier incentives, milestone incentives, and the proposed schedule. My streams will also be embedded on that page, with a choice between watching chat and checking the schedule, though much of what is displayed there for alerts will also be displayed on the Twitch stream as well.

Giveaway items I am waiting for include handmade mugs and other ceramics, small batch hand blended tea sampler kits, some hand sewn items, and homemade embroidered patches, The waiting to see these hand crafted wonders is incredibly difficult!

Here's hoping the next few days go a bit easier. This month is already nearly half done, and September will be here before we know it. Time to take a page from The Hitchhiker's Guide and "Don't panic!" as the clock ticks.

Streaming Issues and a Supplies Update

For the past few days, I've been having issues streaming on Twitch. I use the software OBS Studio to send me stream over Twitch, and lately, out of the blue, I find CPU warnings and an unstable upload bit rate. I've had dropped connections, a choppy feed, OBS crashing upon exiting... It's frustrating, and I need to find a way around it. Sooner, rather than later, too.

On the upside, I've got pretty much all the most essential equipment for the charity stream. Today the gaming headset and coloring book arrived from Amazon. The microphone I'm told sounds great, and they're so comfortable I was able to wear them most of the day.

The coloring book for when I need to chill on stream arrived, and it is the cutest frigging coloring book ever! None of that overly busy crap. Just cute pictures of unicorns to color. I also got a pack of 64 Crayola crayons to use with it from Walmart. You know, the box with the built in sharpener? Yeah, the good stuff. *wink*

I ordered a rainbow of yarn from Joann.com for the Huggy Bears, and the canvas for the Donation Mural. I just got the notice this morning they were shipping.

From Fabric.com, I ordered some fabric for making an envelope pillow case for the donor names. I just couldn't find a unicorn pillow I liked, and my sewing skills are so bad I didn't trust myself making a DIY unicorn to write on. The fabrics are lovely, though. I also got tubular TMNT fleece for the No-Sew Fleece Blanket I'll be making on stream. The shipping notice for these was also sent to me this morning.

Along with the crayons, I got some gold sharpies from Walmart. I'm hoping these will work on the pillow, and make for a fancier item than just black sharpies would. I got some yarns for the scarf, however the yarn I picked up for the main body of the scarf is the wrong weight. I'm going to have to look for something thinner. No real problem, just means I have some nice yarn for playing with.

From the Michael's craft store, I picked up some small tubes of acrylic paints. They were in the school supplies bin for $5, and they had a nice range of colors for only 12 tubes. Canvas was on sale, buy one get one free, so I picked up a couple 3x3 canvases to practice on.

I'm currently waiting for Amazon to ship the double salt licorice. I'm getting 6 pounds of the stuff, so I don't run out.

Most of what is left on the wishlist at this point is a multiple USB 3.0 hub, a USB 3.0 extension, a C270 webcam (for the headcam when painting), and some packaging supplies.

As far as figuring out what's wrong with my streams, I'm going to try streaming over YouTube, and if that fails as well, I'll know it's OBS Studio having problems. If it streams successfully, I'll know it's more likely Twitch "being Twitchy", as they say. But that will wait until tomorrow. I'm frustrated at this point, having to remake all my OBS scenes after a reinstall and having to re-setup my channel bot.

But, things are otherwise going as planned. Hopefully I will have better news next update.

The Proposed Charity Stream Schedule

I've worked out a preliminary schedule taking into account the resources I have as of now. It is bound to be changed and tweaked as the month goes by and as my resources change. Stream start and end times have changed from my original plans so that I net 48 hours of live time, making up for the two scheduled naps. I will probably need a couple power naps as well- I still need to work out that detail.

All times listed below are CST (GMT - 6:00). Activities are scheduled around Twitch's audience peaks and valleys. Channel hosts will be worked out and announced at a later date, along with any co-hosts or Discord guests.

September 9
10:00 AM - Stream Starts
10:00 AM to 1:00 PM - Crocheted Love Knot Scarf
This scarf will be crocheted on stream and, upon completion, given away in a drawing.
1:00 PM to 3:00 PM - Jackbox Break
An hour break to rest and let loose playing Drawful and Quiplash with chat.
3:00 PM to Midnight - Scarf Part 2
More work on the scarf as needed. If it's finished before the first nap break, a game will be loaded after.

September 10 - World Suicide Prevention Day!
12:00 AM to 2:00 AM - First Recharge Break
This is the first 2 hour block set aside for sleep. The stream will be offline and hosting for this block. Tier incentives for the $10 and $40 levels will be honored provided you put a note stating what you'd like added to the mural, and (for the $10 tier) don't mark your donation anonymous. I will fulfill them after I wake up. The other two I cannot easily fulfill, as I will be asleep.
2:00 AM to 7:00 AM - Let's Learn How To Farm
I have never sat down to play Stardew Valley, so why not learn in the wee hours of the morning? Audience participation is encouraged.
7:00 AM to 12:00 PM - Hug Me Teddy Bears
This block activates the alternate $20 incentive tier! $20+ donations will entitle the donor to force me to change color no matter where I am in the pattern. I will be working from a simple teddy bear pattern in this block. These bears will be made available in my Etsy for the cost of shipping to those in need of a hug.
12:00 PM to 6:00 PM - Finding Love at Asagao Academy
Note the $20 incentive tier returns to the default food challenge. Audience input is encouraged as we try to date some of the hottest Let's Players on Youtube: The Normal Boots Club! This goes until we finish we finish a story arc or until 6 PM, whichever comes first. If we finish early, I will load up a short game.
6:00 PM to 8:00 PM - Second Recharge Break
This is the second 2 hours sleep break. The stream will be offline during this block, and will be hosting someone else. Tier incentives for the $10 and $40 levels will be honored provided you put a note stating what you'd like added to the mural, and (for the $10 tier) don't mark your donation anonymous. I will fulfill them after I wake up. The other two I cannot easily fulfill, as I will be asleep.
8:00 PM to Midnight - Hug Me Teddy Bears Part 2
$20 yarn color switcharoo reactivated for this block! More bears for a bit as we approach midnight and a new day.

September 11
12:00 AM to 5:00 AM - Stardew Valley Zombie Farm Crawl
Note the $20 tier rewards return to the default food challenge. An overnight festival of farming. Audience participation is encouraged, because I certainly won't know what's going on.
5:00 AM to 9:00 AM - No Sew TMNT Fleece Blanket
One last craft to work on. Let's see how sharp scissors and sleep deprivation mix, eh?
9:00 AM to 2:00 PM - Coloring and Drawing
I expect to be quite tired and confused by this time, so Crayola to the rescue! Quiplash and Drawful as well, if the chat wishes.
2:00 PM - Stream Ends

Going Through a Third Party vs Directly Through AFSP.org

I contacted AFSP.org a few days ago to let them know I was interested in raising money for them, and to get information and assistance if needed. I learned that AFSP.org has a very simple campaign creator- you make an "about" page and they provide the donations page automatically. I saw that going direct would also change how the donations were used: half would go to the national branch, half would go to the local branch of my choosing. It would also get around that pesky third party cut. It allows donors to choose whether they wanted to pay through Paypal or credit card, though the site doesn't state directly the payment processing fees from those third party handlers.

It's not a bad setup for it, to be honest, and I was seriously considering using it for the above very good reasons.

Tiltify.com on the other hand has much more in depth campaign creator and is made with streamers in mind. It's easy to create incentive tiers, donation amount goals, a schedule, and to edit everything as the stream is rolling. It can embed your stream, and offers a small bar for your layout to track donations and progress.

On the downside, 5% is taken out of each donation, though it is used to maintain the website. They are upfront about payment methods removing a cut as well for processing.  Through Paypal, 2.9% + 30 cents are taken from the donation for processing. Through First Giving Credit Card Processing, 4.5% is taken out, which is higher, but might be available to more people.

Both options have very good points and a couple downsides. They are very valid venues, and I think they serve different purposes.

AFSP.org's simple process is great for a simple campaign. No bells, no whistles. Here is my page, please donate. Tiltify.com is great for a production and a group effort. If I was doing a low-key campaign, it would have been perfect to go through AFSP, and I think for future campaigns I will. However, with a bunch of giveaways, donation tiers, and a virtual marathon of stream time, with things bound to change over the course of the weekend, Tiltify.com seems the best route.

I will still use Tiltify as originally planned for this campaign. There will be a lot going on, and I expect the easier it is to edit things, the better. Expect a maximum of 10% removed from the donation for processing and site maintenance, and a minimum of 8%. About $90 - $92 of every $100 will go to AFSP directely.

I do recommend checking out AFSP.org's campaign creation page should anyone wish to do a much quieter stream campaign, or fund raising in general. It will allow for a higher percentage of donations to go to them, plus you can direct half the raised funds to your local chapter, which is awesome.

On another note, I have been working out a tentative schedule, which I will talk about next update. Just working out some kinks.

How to Help Before It Begins

I'm being asked frequently how people can help prepare for the upcoming charity stream. I started this crazy idea thinking I'd be doing it alone, and not two weeks later, there are so many people wanting to help shoulder the burden, donate items, spread the word, and share their stories.

If you stream- The biggest thing a streamer can do is help spread the word. Share this blog's address with your viewers, tweet it out, share of FB, anything helps!

I will also need help filling time during the few down times I will allow for necessary sleep.

Co-hosting while I'm live would help keep the chat engaged, especially if I'm doing a task and can't see chat so easily. As the hours tick away and I grow wearier, the extra voice can help keep the stream focused or remind me of an important thing I might have forgotten or point out a donation I missed.

If you craft- Whether you stream or not, handmade items for giveaways could help entice traffic. If the item is somehow created in the theme of the stream- hope, strength, survival, perhaps the turquoise/purple color theme- it would help keep the giveaway focused on the cause.

If you don't stream- Spreading the word on social media will be helpful as September 9 draws closer.

There is also an Amazon Wishlist showing some of the items I need to buy for a smooth and entertaining stream. It is also posted on the sidebar to the right. Donating items from that list, or sending a donation to my Paypal account to help ease the cost. (The linked text leads to my Twitch donation page, so you can leave a message letting me know you are donating towards supplies. It allows payment through Paypal or credit card. *Note this link will not lead to a direct donation to AFSP.org*)

And most important of all, everyone's encouragement is the best help I can receive!  This is the biggest thing I have ever tackled. I am aware it will be grueling. I will be doing tasks outside my comfort zone; not just through challenges in stream, but just the networking needed before launch day. I am aware of anxiety at the fringe of my mind, and the compulsion to overthink this whole thing. The support and encouragement of the community has kept me going, and I will need it for the next five weeks.

Again, please pass along the links I have on the right-hand margin, and keep checking back here for progress updates. I should have some news regarding the donation page soon, among other things.

The Incentive Tiers and Reaching Goal

So, what sort of stream shenanigans are in the works?

$10- Immortalized With Unicorns: Everyone who donates $10 and above will have their username immortalized on a fanciful unicorn pillow with permanent marker. Those who don't want their name written down can mark the anonymous box and I will honor the request.

$20a- Pick My Poison: In addition to your name being glorified with unicorns, you will have the privilege of subjecting me to a food related challenge. Kimchi or Dutch licorice. I dislike kimchi. A lot. I will eat a large spoonful of the stuff if you so wish. On the other hand, I do like black licorice. However, Dutch licorice comes in salty varieties as well as sweet. Too much salty licorice at once, and it begins to taste like the scent of strong cat urine. If you pick Salty licorice, I will roll a six sided die, and eat the RNG dictated number of pieces. Yummy.... This reward will be active for most of the stream.

$20b- Change Yarn Color: Huggy bears are a small, simple Teddy pattern I will eventually put in my shop for only the cost of shipping, to make available to those you know are in need of a cuddle. I will start on these September 10 at 5 am Central Time. While these stuffed animals are being created, people who donate $20 will be able to force me to switch yarn colors mid project, from the available colors I have, as well as get their name written on the glorious unicorn pillow. Pick My Poison will be turned off while this is active.

$40- Donation Mural: $40 gets all the above incentives (the $20 incentive depending on whether Huggy Bears are being made or not) plus you get to decide something to add to the special Strength in Every Stitch Mural. We must keep the lewd to  minimum, per Twitch ToS. Sexual or violent suggestions will not be honored. I will get a 24" x 36" (70 cm x 90 cm) canvas, an extra webcam and a hat to attach it to, and acrylic paints (help with these items would be appreciated through the amazon wishlist on the sidebar, I'm working on this alone, financially.) I rarely paint, so I'm not promising anything amazing. But it will certainly be fun. I think the hat-cam will be awesome as well, allowing viewers to see everything up close and personal. (Even if hat-cam doesn't work, that cam will be mounted as best I can to allow clear view of the painting process. Experimentation!)

$80- Dance Celebration: You get the pillow! You get either the poison or the yarn color change! You get to influence the Donation Mural! *deep breath* And I will dance for you! Caramelldansen. Yes, that song, with the full choreographed dance created by LunaCherry. Hopefully I will have practiced enough. I will play the Youtube video for myself, mirroring it, and it shall be glorious!

When we hit the $500 goal, I will vow to shave my head. At the moment, it isn't decided yet if this will be DIY or done at the local salon, nor how soon after the stream it will be done. I'm leaning towards the salon for safety's sake rather than buying a razor, though the razor would make filming it easier. I would like to film the process and upload it to Youtube to share, so everyone gets the proof I've followed through on my word. I will post an update once this particular incentive is solidified.

If we pass $500... well, I am open to suggestions. I have no clue what to do at that point.

The Origin Story

I swear, I must have been manic coming up with this.

I have never ever run a charity campaign, or even organized anything more complicated than the summer cookout to celebrate my move to my current apartment. I have never really tried to "sell" myself or a cause. And I have never streamed for more than 12 hours.

It started with a wake-up a couple weeks ago, and deciding I wanted to do a charity stream. To Google I went, looking up how to's and when to's and what do's. I settled on Tiltify.com to host the campaign, for ease of use for my newb self, and for the option to not use Paypal to handle donations. Next up, a perusal of charity causes. Sick children, cancer, veterans- so many good and noble causes. Then I saw it: The American Foundation for Suicide Prevention. I found my cause.

I have always been an anxious and moody child. Around 11 I became a little more moody. By 12 I had developed full on depression symptoms. I swore I could feel the mood swing drowning my body in a physical wave of sadness and despair, and it would happen at the most inconvenient of times- even during class in front of my classmates! I had a notebook of suicide notes and letters asking for my possessions to be doled out a certain way, notes on how I wanted my body prepared after death.... I kept it under my bed. It was almost like my journal.

My first actual suicide attempt was at 17. I lost all rationality, took the only pill bottle I could find that my parents wouldn't miss, and swallowed the lot secretly in my bedroom before school while my mother- on a rare occasion home from work- did her morning puttering about the house. I had wanted to just lie in bed after, but with mom home and secrecy being highly important, I hid the bottle and went to school as usual. By the start of first period I because woozy, and my teacher walked me to the nurse's office. It was decided I was sick from skipping breakfast, I laid on a cot, and went through 8 hours of the worst vertigo I have ever had. Mom was called, but she wasn't able to take me home until 9th period. I must have passed out at some time, because after a few trips to the toilet, I woke to find the school day nearly done and the nurse at my side telling me a ride had finally come.

There have been attempts since, all involving medication overdoses and hospitalization. My last attempt was in 2011, when I vowed never to return to a hospital again.

It is through a county run clinic that I get therapy and medication, now. I have taken courses in Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) and Dialectical Behavioral Therapy (DBT), two very good resources for coping skills, the latter being a life saver. My state has a pretty decent health care option for those of us too unstable to work or pay for health insurance. I can get life saving medication from them, glasses, and dental work- within limits, of course. I am even supplied with a social worker, who has been my greatest resource for living as close to a normal life as I have.

However, so many people don't have access to resources like this. They must flounder alone, nothing to cling to, in what feels like an overwhelming turbulent and angry sea. Many don't make it to old age. Many don't want to. I myself knew in my bones I'd be dead by 25 by my own hands. Thankfully, I'm still here 11 years later. And then there's the devastation of surviving friends and family. Guilt, anger, sadness, the shame of impotence or blindness to "obvious" warning signs.

AFSP.org has a mission to help those in need, through many outlets. I want to help them in their work, to prove to myself and to show others that none of us truly suffers alone.

Cause found, what the heck do I do? Well, I'm a creative streamer. While many on Twitch.tv stream live game play, some in the community stream art or crafting. I do mostly crochet at www.twtich.tv/bruisedweasel. So, I will crochet and augment it with other crafts, maybe a couple games, and whatever else I can think of.

Then there's timing. Weekends are the most busy on Twitch.tv. And National Suicide Prevention Week runs from September 5-11 this year, with World Suicide Prevention Day on September 10. I knew I had to stream from September 9-11. The numbers screamed it, the cause awareness screamed it. It was too perfect. I decided to start Friday, September 9 at noon, and run it until Sunday September 11 at noon.

Time, cause, and platform chosen, I jumped into all the fun little things that make up a long stream event. These things will be in their own posts as they happen. I will do my best to keep updates timely and accurate, to keep Dear Reader informed and provide adequate information to those interested in donating or helping out. I am a little fearful I've bitten off more than I can chew. I have already been amazed by the generosity and support of fellow Twitch-Creative community members. My doubt lies within myself, I do not know which way things will go, or how my endurance will hold out. Or even if I can be interesting for so long. But I hope for success, and that is what I shall push for, after jumping in like this.

This is the campaign blog's launching post. May she sail strong and far, and bring light and hope to those lost in the dark waters of whatever despair haunts them.